One of the things that can be difficult to find balance in, especially when engaged in "project baby", is to avoid sex becoming a duty in the relationship. One may risk forgetting about lust, presence, love and cultivating one’s sexuality.
Together with sexologist and couple therapist Nadia Kuszon, we give you 3 good tips for going from forced sex to love sex.
Your inner word
This exercise involves thinking back to a situation where you have been turned on, masturbated, watched a movie or read a book. It could be that there was an erotic thought, scene or phantasy that made you feel lust. Try to remember what made you turned on, and bring that back into your mind when you feel like having sex.
This exercise is a tantric exercise that you can do with your partner. It means that you sit in bed naked, opposite of each other and just stand there and observe each other for 5 minutes. It can be a vulnerable exercise, but it is exactly that courage of being vulnerable in front of each other that can help create closeness, intimacy and love sex between the partners.
Surround yourself with sex
How do we create desire in our outer world? When we surround ourselves with something, we automatically focus on it. Surround yourself with colors, movies, books, art, sounds, scents and food that evoke love, sexuality and desire in you. You can also try to put in a little more effort, just like you would do when going out for a party or a dinner where you feel extra attractive. It creates an energy both inside and out, which can help evoke the desire and mood for love sex.
Read more about Nadja Kuzson here.
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